If you’re someone who often finds your thoughts or senses dragging you around, this might help.
St. Francis of Assisi referred to his body and senses as Brother Donkey. He said, “I’ll take good care of him, wash him, feed him, and give him rest. But I’m going to ride him, not the other way around.”
For most of my life, it’s been the opposite. My mind and senses – my donkey – have been riding me for over five decades.
Lately, I’ve made a decision: every behavior that harms me or others – I’m done with it. One habit at a time. Mahatma Gandhi has inspired this in me. A life of integrity begins with mastery of the self.
Now, I’m not going to ass-u-me you’re on the same journey, or that you’ve ever had Sister or Brother Donkey calling the shots in your life. But if you’re open to a wiser way of being, try this: look at your thoughts and actions not as sins or failures, but simply as ineffective strategies, not producing the outcomes that you want.
Here are a few patterns I’ve either released or am actively releasing:
Complaining
How could anyone complain living in Hawaii, right? And yet, Brother Donkey is vigilant, always sniffing out things to grumble about.
The cost? Complaining warps my energy. I believe my words shape my world, so I’ve chosen to stop reinforcing what I don’t want.
Caffeine
I told myself I needed it to perk up my mood. Quitting was brutal for four days, but then came peace. Now, when I’m tired, I rest. What a concept.
Putting Others Down
Whether out loud or in my head, it’s poison. Every time I put someone down, I reinforce separation, and deny the Love in them and in me.
Overeating
I’ve used food as a dopamine hit for over 25 years, especially at night. What astonishes me is how little I actually need to eat, and how quickly my waist and belly respond when I stop numbing myself.
Turning Off Screens by 7:30 PM
This one took over two decades to implement, but the impact is massive. My sleep is deeper, my evenings are slower, and I get precious time with Hitomi and a good book. Sleep comes with grace and ease.
Sister or Brother Donkey will always try to take the reins. That’s its nature. But as we learn to ride with compassion and firm direction, we discover a quieter joy, a deeper stillness beneath the noise.
If you feel inspired to tame your own donkey, to release what no longer serves and reclaim your peace, I’d love to help you. You don’t have to do it alone.
Send me a message if you feel called. I’m here.
Aloha ke Akua,
Bodhi