The Confidence Lie Keeping You Stuck

Do you feel like you need a surge of confidence before you can finally launch that project, make that important call, or share your creative work with the world? If you find yourself constantly waiting for that elusive feeling of certainty before taking the leap, you might be caught in a common, yet powerful, trap.

What if I told you that waiting for confidence is often the very thing keeping you stuck, potentially forever?

The Myth: You Need Confidence Before Action

I was coaching a brilliant client recently. We were at the end of the session and he was sharing the most valuable takeaways from the session.  When I asked him how he felt about the implementation of some of the greatest takeaways from the session, he said, “Bodhi, I just don’t have the confidence yet!”

Does that sound familiar? It’s a sentiment I hear constantly, and it highlights a fundamental misunderstanding about where true momentum comes from.

So, I asked my client a question, and I’ll ask you the same: “What if confidence… is just like a cloud in the sky?”

You Are the Sky, Confidence is the Cloud

Think about it seriously. Some days, the sky is crystal clear blue. On those days, you might feel amazing, capable, totally confident! Things feel easy, and taking action seems natural.

Other days, the sky is grey, overcast, maybe even dark and stormy. On those days, feelings of doubt, fear, uncertainty – a complete lack of confidence – might roll in.

But here’s the absolute key: You are the sky.

You are the vast, ever-present awareness, the fundamental capability that is always there. The clouds – those fluctuating feelings of confidence or doubt – simply drift through your inner sky. They come, they go. They are temporary weather patterns.

Crucially, these passing clouds have absolutely nothing to do with your inherent ability to take the next step, to move your feet, to make the call, to write the first paragraph, to simply do the thing.

Why Waiting for the ‘Confidence Cloud’ Fails

Confidence is far more often a result of taking action, not a prerequisite before you act. It’s an effect, not the primary cause!

Think about learning to ride a bike. Did you feel confident before you ever got on? Likely not. You felt wobbly, uncertain, maybe even scared. But you got on anyway (perhaps with support), you wobbled, you fell, you got back up, and through the action, confidence gradually grew.

Waiting for the ‘confidence cloud’ to appear before you move is like waiting for the perfect sunny day with zero chance of rain before you ever leave your house – you might end up waiting forever, missing out on life itself!

Embrace Action: How to Move Forward Today

Recognizing that confidence is a fluctuating feeling, not a necessary ingredient for action, is liberating. It means you don’t have to wait anymore. You can tap into your fundamental capacity – the sky – right now.

• Focus on the smallest possible step: What’s one tiny action you can take today towards your goal?

• Acknowledge the feeling, but don’t obey it: Notice the doubt or lack of confidence if it’s there. Thank it for trying to protect you, but don’t let it dictate your behaviour.

• Act Now with the feeling: You can feel uncertain and dial the number. You can feel doubt and write the first sentence. Immediate Action and feeling can coexist.

Do you feel like you need a surge of confidence before you can finally launch that project, make that important call, or share your creative work with the world? If you find yourself constantly waiting for that elusive feeling of certainty before taking the leap, you might be caught in a common, yet powerful, trap.

What if I told you that waiting for confidence is often the very thing keeping you stuck, potentially forever?

The Myth: You Need Confidence Before Action

I was coaching a brilliant client recently. We were at the end of the session and he was sharing the most valuable takeaways from the session.  But then came the familiar refrain: “Bodhi, I just don’t have the confidence yet!”

Does that sound familiar? It’s a sentiment I hear constantly, and it highlights a fundamental misunderstanding about where true momentum comes from.

So, I asked my client a question, and I’ll ask you the same: “What if confidence… is just like a cloud in the sky?”

You Are the Sky, Confidence is the Cloud

Think about it seriously. Some days, the sky is crystal clear blue. On those days, you might feel amazing, capable, totally confident! Things feel easy, and taking action seems natural.

Other days, the sky is grey, overcast, maybe even dark and stormy. On those days, feelings of doubt, fear, uncertainty – a complete lack of confidence – might roll in.

But here’s the absolute key: You are the sky.

You are the vast, ever-present awareness, the fundamental capability that is always there. The clouds – those fluctuating feelings of confidence or doubt – simply drift through your inner sky. They come, they go. They are temporary weather patterns.

Crucially, these passing clouds have absolutely nothing to do with your inherent ability to take the next step, to move your feet, to make the call, to write the first paragraph, to simply do the thing.

Why Waiting for the ‘Confidence Cloud’ Fails

Confidence is far more often a result of taking action, not a prerequisite before you act. It’s an effect, not the primary cause!

Think about learning to ride a bike. Did you feel confident before you ever got on? Likely not. You felt wobbly, uncertain, maybe even scared. But you got on anyway (perhaps with support), you wobbled, you fell, you got back up, and through the action, confidence gradually grew.

Waiting for the ‘confidence cloud’ to appear before you move is like waiting for the perfect sunny day with zero chance of rain before you ever leave your house – you might end up waiting forever, missing out on life itself!

Embrace Action: How to Move Forward Today

Recognizing that confidence is a fluctuating feeling, not a necessary ingredient for action, is liberating. It means you don’t have to wait anymore. You can tap into your fundamental capacity – the sky – right now.

• Focus on the smallest possible step: What’s one tiny action you can take today towards your goal?

• Acknowledge the feeling, but don’t obey it: Notice the doubt or lack of confidence if it’s there. Thank it for trying to protect you, but don’t let it dictate your behaviour.

• Act with the feeling: You can feel uncertain and dial the number. You can feel doubt and write the first sentence. Action and feeling can coexist.

Watch: The Confidence Lie Keeping You Stuck

Want to see this concept in action? Watch the short video below where I break down this exact idea: